COCAINE, TRAFFIC LIGHTS AND RAILROADS

Hello and welcome to part six of Axioms with Barry. Due to the extended edition on Dr Pepper, we will be having a condensed, or abbreviated, installment today.

We will begin with an interesting, little known fact about Coca Cola, a much tastier soda than Dr Pepper. As many people know, Coca Cola began by using cocaine in their soft drink. Hence the name, Coke (or Coca, as in coca leaves). This popular soda began in 1886. If you recall from the previous episode, this was one year later than Dr Pepper. In 1912, the U.S. Government made the sale and use of cocaine illegal. Prior to this date, cocaine was sold as a cure-all, used as medicines, used in drinks, and sold in department stores with a handy little syringe. True story! The advertisements I added here were actually used in the late 1800s.

Those who have heard that Coca Cola originally used cocaine in their product are under the impression that they stopped using it when it became illegal. In fact, Coca Cola saw the adverse and addictive qualities of cocaine before the government banned its sale, and they discontinued using it in their soda in 1903. After 1903, they used nothing but black tar heroin. Okay, they didn’t, but it could happen! They did continue to use the coca flavoring, but no longer used cocaine. Now there is a stand up company discontinuing the use of a harmful and addictive substance before it becomes illegal even when that substance could increase sales. I’m not biased at all, what are you talking about? In fact, don’t be angry but I actually prefer Pepsi to Coke because it’s sweeter.

Let’s move on to something strange. Something so fanatical, outrageous, and anomalous, your head will spin! No joke. Your head will literally spin. It’s going to be The Exorcist all over again – without the nasty demon-like face and vomiting, of course. What could possibly make someone’s head spin, you ask? Do not fret, I will tell you. Did you know that on average, Americans spend SIX MONTHS of their lives waiting at traffic signals? Are you okay? Did your head spin? I sure hope not! Doesn’t that make you want to just run red lights from now on? What a waste of living to be sitting at a traffic light!!! I’m sorry that I had to be the one to tell you this. I know it is tough, but it’s going to be okay…or is it?

Discloser: Be advised, we at Axioms with Barry (in other words, I) do not condone nor recommend running stop lights, and we (I) suggest that you follow and obey all traffic laws in your area.

Did you know that putting salt on a railroad track in Alabama could be punishable by death? I don’t know why. It could be because of the corrosive aspect of salt, but does putting one grain of salt on a railroad really justify death? Does the punishment fit the crime? I am asking more questions than I am answering. Speaking of strange laws, did you also know that it is illegal to kiss a frog in Los Angeles, California? What? I know! Its true and I’ll tell you why. That law is derived from those damn druggies harassing the poor, innocent frogs trying to make a living in L.A. As a matter of fact, there is a frog that excretes a hallucinogen on the top of their heads as a defense mechanism. People began licking these frogs to get high, therefore L.A. made it illegal to kiss a frog. Who knew?

Discloser: We at Axioms do not discriminate against drug users and do not judge others for their actions. Please note, however, that we ask that you leave those poor frogs alone and find other means to do your business. We only refer to “damn druggies” as those who harass or hurt (physically or emotionally) the frogs or any other innocent people or animals for their own selfish reasons.

Sadly, this concludes our sixth part of our series of Axioms. We had some fun, learned a lot of useless facts, shared some tears of sadness and joy, and developed a new found respect and awe for Barry’s endless knowledge. Thank you for taking the time to read and enjoy these informative sessions. Goodnight and I bid you adieu!

Discloser: In the spirit of having multiple disclosers during this set of Axioms, we must note one more item of business. The conclusion of this set of Axioms seems to imply that there will be no more Axioms. This is far from true and you should expect many more. If there is anything that you are interested in knowing about, please feel free to comment and we will research it on your behalf.

Discloser #2: We have not yet deduced why Barry likes to refer to himself in the plural, we. This may be one question that can never be answered.

Discloser #3: This episode of Axioms was considerably longer than we expected it would be at the beginning..